The Super Mega Ultra Heist
by Ice Cream Kid
Summary: Mr. L knows of some hard-to-reach treasure. But will Waluigi find it first? Set after Super Paper Mario, references to Luigi's Mansion, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga, New Super Mario Bros U.
1. Competitive Thievery

"Why're you here?"

Obviously, a great start to any conversation.

"Because I'm the universe's greatest thief/treasure hunter!" the man claimed, striking a complicated and danceworthy pose with balletic grace and precision with his slender long arms and legs.

"..Hey, I think I saw you on the TV. Don't you play doubles with Better-Skip-Dessert?"

"Who?" the man asked in his hyper-nasal voice.

"Wears purple and yellow, with teeth strong enough to chew through rubber tires..."

"WAH!" the man inexplicably vocalized. "You're disrespecting my dear friend, the greatest game developmemt company owner/tennis player/greatest thief/treasure hunter in the universe!"

"...Quite the career..!."

"He is very accomplished!" said the man praisingly.

"But how can you BOTH be the greatest thief/treasure hunter in the universe?"

"We just..." the man twirled around on the point of his floppy shoe, with one leg pulled up behind him while flawlessly spinning his incredibly long arms. "ARE! WA ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Well, you got style."

"Number 1 in style!" the man posed. He snapped up, fluttering his weary eyelids. "And looks?"

"Glad you asked. You're Face."

"Is that short for Fabulously Attractive Cosmic Evildoer?"

"Face-Only-A-Mother-Could-Love."

"WAH?! Wahhh..." the man growled on his extremely nasal voice growing in intensity as he stomped except not very intimdatingly because of his lanky long legs but he towered over the other man who was a mere three shroom people tall! Oh, how he HATED the Shroom people..being all cute and cuddly and...he leaned way down to glare eye level with the child-sized man who had insulted his sunken eyes and protruding pink nose and his mustache-twirler mustache. "Why you.." he sizzled in seething rageful rage ."If you were my archrival Luigi I would thoroughly roll you flat underneath the heel of my shoe!"

"..Just with the heel?"

"I have a big heel! It's absolutely wretched to go shoe-shopping IN THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM!"

"Gotcha. So, Sir Dance-a-lot, are you in this job or what-"

"Waaaahhhiiit!"

"You just wanted an excuse to say 'wah'..ok then..."

"Three accursed shroom people tall..green...slim but not as whippet-like as YOURS TRULY..but, no! It can't be. My archrival Luigi is GOOD, standing against all I stand for, which is BAD! That means, though it looks like my archrival Luigi, it is NOT my archrival Luigi!" The man spun around in a circle and did a quick-change into a dress and a voluminous wig. "I shall await the return of my archrival...so I CAN PULVERIZE HIM INTO THE TRAFFIC CONES!"

The other man caught sight of the dress. He mentally sdmired the stitching, the seams, the embroidery.

"Can you..ditch the dress? You're.."

"Making you..UNCOMFORTABLE?!" the man sidled up to the smaller man and touched their cheeks together in an intrusive way.

"Get off!" the man pushed the taller man away. "I don't want you, I want the dress!" he insisted in a high, meek, nasal voice. "Oh-oh no! I mean.." he dropped his voice to its lower depth which was more of his natural depth, but the Blitty was out of the Treevil.

"Wahhhh? You...you ARE Luigi, my archrival!" the taller man pointed with surprised elegance and delicate outrage, raising his knee to incredible heights. "PUUULVERIIIZE!"

Mr. L blocked the threatening foot, which was poised sadistically to crush him many times in rapid and painful succession, with both arms and the weight of his lower body, straining. Waluigi was a lot stronger than him. But he was better at self-effacement. So scuttling in place as hard as he could, he made a hole in the ground that he dropped into. Waluigi flopped backwards in the dirt.

"Now that we've calmed down kind of," the man in green started, but from safely underground. "and by we I mean you, lemme explain the job. Climb this tall building without touching the walls, floor, or ceiling, including the outside of the building, but without flying over or burrowing underground, or flooding it, and swipe the treasure while inside the building with the lights off but without touching the light switch. Easy as making a fruit parfait, yeah?"

"Fruit parfaits aren't easy!" wailed Waluigi. "What kind of a simpleton are you, archrival Luigi, to find making a fruit parfait easy?! It's easy..IF YOU COMPLETELY RUIN IT!" Waluigi cleared his congested throat. "I have a much grander and more ambitious plan, to satisfy our archrivalry, instead of cooperating on the heist, we will COMPETE for the treasure, and name our terms! If I get the treasure..actually, you go first, it' be dull and uninspired."

"Ok! If I grab the treasure first..." his voice dropped in volume and after taking off his mask, embarassed to wear it while expressing such a goal, he hid his arms behind his back while digging one boot into the undug-through dirt..."I want..." and dropped more ".to try..." and more still. "...your dress..."

"NOOOO! I will NOT let the goody-two-shoes likes of you, archrival Luigi, wear MY dress! It's MINE!" howled Waluigi, his heart filled with pain at never having had anything of his own.

"Fine. But call me goody-two-shoes again and I'll-" Mr. L threatened, putting his mask back on.

"AhEM! I was GOiNG to say that if you win, I will MAKE you your own dress, because I am the best dressmaker/tennis player/thief/treasure hunter!"

He lifted his mask up, "Hmmmmm..ok. Throw in a princess crown and we've got a deal." and then flipped it back down.

"DEAL! But if I win..." Waluigi rubbed his hands with unspeakable malice. "wa ha ha ha ha...WA HA HA HA HAAAA!" he engaged his whole body in his evil laugh, and his stance was wide and indomitable.

"If you win, then what?"

"WAHA!" Waluigi laughed in Mr. L's face, sending him flying back into the dirt. "I was lying!"

"A-about the dress?" he stammered.

"WrONG! BUZZER NOISE! I'm not going to tell you what I get if I win! But it involves me making YOU do something for ME! Wa ha! And I will win, by the power of EVIL! And you will lose, by the power of GOOD!"

"...I'm evil, too."

Waluigi scowled,

"You're being nonsensical and stupid! You're a good guy, and can never be evil, archrival Luigi!" Waluigi ran from the building to sneakily obtain supplies.

"..Watch me. I'll Wa that ugly grin right off your face! And I'm not telling you again, it's Mr. L!" he shouted at the spindly running figure whose birdlike piercing laugh ran prolonged as his purple hat sank on the horizon. Mr. L took one last preparatory look up the building, confident with his head start.


	2. Who's eviller?

But the purple one was _fast, _and Mr..L had barely enough time to plan how to scale this building without setting off its deadly security system when the spindly man returned, running with long stretched-out strides on the top of several giant hamster wheels crushing the dirt under wheel and crashing along at top speeds.

"WAhahaha!" gloated Waluigi.."That treasure's good as mine!" Mr. L jumped out of the way of the giant hamster wheels, which collided into the side of the building, the furious impact throwing Waluigi off as his body vibrated from the shock, but he landed gracefully with an excited grin. Mr.L glared up at Waluigi, and Waluigi scowled down at Mr. . L was mad because Waluigi tried to crush him with the giant hamster wheels. Hamster wheels that were familiar from Mario's recounting of Mario and Peach's adventures in Gloam Valley. Waluigi glared at Mr. L's bpack mask, shirt/pants, and green bandana.

"Since when did you become so stylish?"

"Since I got out of Bro's shadow."

And of course, he noticed the reverse L, which wasn't as awesome as his L, an upside-down L.

Waluigi stomped with his arms hanging perpendicular to his narrow torso towards the hamster wheel.

"Well, the clothes you've got om are bad guy's clothes, and I never have seen you doing anything remotely evil! Poser!" Waluigi stuck his tongue out and swept his arm dismissively.

"Really?" Mr. L smirked, radiating a sinister air in his black shirt/pants and an aggressive airbwith his green bandana tied carelessly to the side, his eyes slits, his narrowed pupils hidden by his black mask. "You don't remember that time when you, Wario and me teamed up?" the Green Thunder asked.

"We...teamed up with you?! Waaaaah?!"

"Yeah, we stole a few Power Stones, got boo'ed by the Mushroom Kimgdom..." Mr. L walked up to Waluigi from behind and reached up to tap his hunched shoulder.

"Wahhhh? But it was Wario and I who cleverly and evilly stole the racket from the Temple of Bask, to become the tennis champions, which put the Mushroom Kingdom in AWFUL peril. That was a bizarre happening because after the racket took us over, because we're, as Mushroom Kingdom knows, evilly greedy and want to win, and took you over, just by complete accident, I don't remember anything-" Waluigi turned around, and found himself being yanked down by the collar by the much smaller man. "Wah!"

Mr. L leaned his big nose into Waluigi's big nose, his mask pressing against Waluigi's face. Mr. L's pupil-less stare was cold and sinister.

"And if it wasn't for _me, poor helpless Luigi, _grabbing the most powerful racket in the world from you, you both would just have been Lucien's sad, weak puppets. Lucien sensed me, a former _host _of the _Chaos Heart, _and I allowed him to take full control of me, granting you and Wario power too. I was ready for his power. I _wanted _his power. Did you?"

"..."

Mr. L decided not to tell the purple one that he didn't remember all that he, Wario, and Waluigi had done after he let Lucien possess him and before Mario freed them from Lucien's control. Mario had told him what had happened after the fact, but Waluigi didn't need to know all that. The point was he, Mr. L, had done that evil even though he had been posessed by Lucien.

"So you can thank me, by not calling my bad deeds into question. Got it?"

Mr L got his face out of Waluigi's face, which was frozen with confusion, fear, more rage than ever, and giddiness.

"Wahahaha! Fine, you ARE evil, just not as evil as me!" Waluigi posed mightily, twirling his frenzied mustache with his elbow high in the air.

"Excuse me?!" Mr. L yelled, showing his teeth.

"Say it! Say you're not as evil as me!" Waluigi demanded. Mr. L crossed his arms and leaned his weight into his back leg.

"You're not as evil as me."

"No no no!" Waluigi wah'ed.

"The truth hurts, heh?"

"Wahhhhh! But I'm the one everyone KNOWS is a bad guy!" Waluigi's eyelids were heavy with his deep suffering as the ugliest lifeform to ever enter the Mushroom Kingdom, and his tone betrayed conflict between his reviled place in Mushroom society and his secret desire for the Mushroom people to accept him. But he wouldn't share the feelings of his heart with his archrival. "So ADMIT it, your reputation isn't as evil as mine!"

"...Can't argue there," Mr. L scratched the side of his big round nose. While he was a bit of a neat-freak when it came to his house-which the Professor had built for him to thank him for getting his ghost paintings back, his house that he had paid for with the loot he had picked up in the Boo's mansion while hauling around a vacuum cleaner that was so heavy he hadn't been able to jump, his house that had made, but just barely, that entire exhausting night being hounded by hundreds of ghosts while he had reluctantly searched for his impulsive brother so he could get his fat butt out from King Boo's personal art exhibit, 'cause he wasn't quite evil enough yet, to have kept from becoming an embarassing, babbling mess every time a ghost tried to kill him and not quite evil enough to just ditch Mario, who he still wanted to beat at tennis-worthwhile from a financial standpoint-Mario's house, and any house really including the Boos' mansion which he had vacuumed every square centimeter of-he didn't go out of his way to smell really good, maybe a spritz now and then under the arms and of course regular baths. But Waluigi went way overboard with heavy, musky perfume and it made his nose itch.

"WAHAAA! I win! Waluigi wins!" Waluigi twirled around and around, resembling a hyperactive carousel.

"Yeah, you've got the reputation, but doesn't mean you'll win our competition. And it's time-sensitive."

"Wahhhh?!"

"When the clock hits midnight, the treasure will vanish!" Mr. L opened his palm suddenly to illustrate the point. "It has to come into contact with beings from this world to stay in material form."

"Wahhh! Wahhyyyyy didn't you mention that before?!" Waluigi stopped spinning and he let his arms hang down in discouragement. Mr. L grinned subtly.

"'Cause I knew you'd waste time. L-ater!" Mr. L slipped out a Power Flower and himself became immaterial.

"Wahhhh! Where'd you go?" Waluigi looked all around him. He heard running footsteps..NO, no, he HAD to concentrate! Waluigi ran to the hamster wheels and bending at his long, beautiful knees, he put his hands under the hamster wheel, squuezed his arms under, and with a manly nasal grunt, he lifted the hamster wheel above his head, and with a "WAH!" of immense focus and effort like a martial artist's yell coming from deep within the gut as he projected his _chi, _ the jack-of-some-trades hurled the hamster wheel on top of the other hamster wheel. He burst out into maniacal, tricky laughter but then wheezed from the effort and lifted the third wheel with the same dedication and strength, and formed a staircase with the hamster wheels. He climbed his hamster wheel staircase, getting...a third of the way up the building. Waluigi wa-wailed at his wah-fortune, but never one to turn wah and give up, he began scheming, with much hand-rubbing, hunched over like some purple mad scientist, his next approach to climb the building and steal the mysterious treasure inside.


	3. Bot vs Bubble

Using the Power Flower which enabled him to access his special ability, Mr. L slipped through the solid wall, having become temporarily immaterial. The inside of the steel-interior building hummed loudly with the activity of sensors that glowed brightly overhead, along the walls, and on the floor. Mr. L had been inside the building once before, which was why he knew where all the security was. Last time, he had come in unprepared and almost got vaporized. But this time...

Mr. L took a few seconds to look way up at the ceiling- blocked by that fiery molten wall only a short distance up, as he stood, invisible and unsolid in the sensors. As the Power Flower's strength wore off and he could feel his body becoming physical again, he hopped into a giant mechanical object-the object he had built himself at Castle Bleck and that Mario, Bowser and Peach had demolished-twice, but he had secretly rebuilt.

"Brobot...Core Version!" Mr. L said to himself as he fired up the rockets. Rather than rebuilding the robot in his whole likeness, he just rebuilt Brobot's green hat for show, nose for the cockpit, and mustache for balance, added the thrusters on the underside of the mustache, and equipped Metal Bro with defensive capabilities beyond fire resistance.

The aesthetically-inadequate robot began a slow ascent, carefully avoiding the sensors on all four walls. Mr. L. kept his masked eyes on the approaching molten wall...

When suddenly the building wall was punctured by a jet of water.

"What the-?!"

The sensors on the damaged wall immediately went off, a light flashed red on a row of machines that emerged from the walls and began firing deadly lasers that absorbed into the sensor beams, that set off more lasers, filling the chute with lasers.

"Shields up! shields up!" Mr. L panicked, initiating the sequence code in Brobot's control panel. Just as the laser was about to hit, Brobot was encased by an energy field.

The offending water jet coalesced into a bubble and the purple one swam into the bubble with a maniacal grin.

"Wahaha! You're going to steer that giant thing into the lava! You're gonna lose! Loser, loser, l for loser!" Waluigi made faces and taunted the other man from inside his water bubble.

"Yeah, like you're going to get through uncooked?" Mr. L replied, turning the knob slowly as the lasers continued to blast by and were deflected off of Brobot's shield. But to his surprise, the bubble hissed but didn't evaporate in the contact with the extreme heat. Waluigi and his bubble sunk upward into the perilous hazard, waving bye-bye with his ill-tempered grimace. Mr. L could feel Brobot heating up furiously as he was only an arm's length away from hitting the volcanic hazard while the lasers screamed below. "Not much of a choice...if I hit the lava it'll bounce me straight into the lasers." Mr. L activated the fire shield and narrowly missed an oncoming laser as Brobot sunk upwards into the lava pit. "Shield danage already 25%!" Mr. L said with dismay. as the entire field outside the nose-window was orange-red. Mr. L held his gloved hand over the thruster controls, but stopped himself. Using the thrusters while the shield was up while in lava might obliterate Brobot. So he hummed aloud, his eyes on the shield damage meter. "40%...60%.." Brobot floated upwards through the lava, ever so slowly. "75%...85%.." Mr. L wondered if there was anything in Brobot that he could eject so it'd be lighter. "Nothing I can get rid of...92%...!" Panic started to show in Mr. L's voice. "J-just my luck...I'm going to lose to my embarassing excuse of a rival-well, he calls himself my rival anyway-AND I'm about to kick the bucket!" In anger at fortune not smiling upon him, he hit the control panel.


	4. Unfair Fight

The jammed control panel rattled the abridged Brobot up onto a wave that tossed it up through the lava's surface.

"Made it..." .Mr. L mentally stomped himself for losing his calm by stuttering, for slipping into his trembling, weak mindset, the one that everyone knew him for as Luigi. But he got over his lapse and activated the thrusters, blasting minimalist Brobot upward once more, catching up to the bubble containing the purple man.

Waluigi was gloating with laughter of evil as his steam-emitting but not-yet-popped bubble sailed up easily between the rows of energy flashing like disco lights guarding all four walls of the drab, technologically advanced but aesthetically sterile building.

"Waha! My bubble is better than your robot!" Waluigi gloated as he jumped up and down in his bubble that wiggled and wobbled but didn't pop underneath his light-enough weight. Waluigi tugged his evil mustache with his gloved fingers in a haughty grimace as the bubble kept floating up. "I would be impressed that my archrival Luigi is even smart enough to build a robot, and that it went through lava without burning up like a...stupid burnt-up robot, but that would be un-evil of me to be impressed by an archrival! So I'll just laugh at how your robot clumsily jerks around while my bubble is elegant and worthy of Waluigi. Which means that trash can of a robot is worthy of you, Luigi!" Waluigi taunted.

"Are you mocking Metal Bro?" Mr. L's masked eyes narrowed. Sure, he was used to being mocked as Luigi, but Waluigi had hit a particuarly sensitive spot.

"'Metal Bro'? Are you dumb enough to think that thing is your brother?" gasped Waluigi in actual disbelief. "I'm more of your brother than that unstylish aluminum can is!" Waluigi deep in his heart knew he was ugly and not beautiful like he postured, but seeing something uglier than him led him to belittle it without mercy.

"Yes. I'm _also _made of metal, which is why I'm trying not to get fried by this tower's security system that only is deadly to organic beings," Mr. L looked annoyed as he maneuvered clunky minimalist Brobot.

"Hmph, sarcasm is the ONLY card you have to play!" huffed Waluigi disparagingly. "While I have the ability to skewer my opponents with my amazing wit..." Waluigi pulled out a large magnet, held it up, and the bubble shot up the tower, attracted by the metal ceiling. "..and cheating! Wahahahaha!"

"There's no way to cheat in a thievery competition!" Mr. L called after Waluigi. "Although..he's running blind, while I've got the map, so if anyone's cheating, it's me," Mr. L smirked as he traced his gray-gloved finger on the map and flicked the paper. He maneuvered not-as-impressive-as-L Type Brobot level with a button on the wall behind the sensors. He activated the general energy shield and bonked the button with no-frills Brobot's nose. "Better learn, purple, that green plays dirty, heh."

Waluigi was moments away from his magnet atraching to the safe suspended in the center of the topmost part of the tower when a single spike protruded from the gap in the ceiling sensors.

"Oh, wah...!"

Waluigi's protective bubble popped, and Waluigi flailed in the air before falling into a hard metal chair that was on a narrow floor on a platform that extended up from the floor all the way feom the base of the tower. The seat part of the chair whirred out, leaving a gap, and Waluigi's slim, slim self easily fell into the hole, "wahh"-ing all the way down.


	5. Complication

The purple man's meteoric fall was stopped by a floor of jagged, but not protruding crystal, which left the purple man very achy, but he band-aided himself and sprang up to evilly take in his new surroundings.

"It's..it's so beautiful! The most beauitiful room I've ever seen!" Waluigi gasped in a masculine way, He had a way of punching his syllables which made his speech intense and vigorous. He rubbed his hands together schemingly. "Im going to steal it!"

So Waluigi took out his diamond-cutting tools and went to work on the crystal, and which was easy because the crystal wasn't hard as diamond, and in no time flat he had cut a shard of crystal out of the wall and he held up the crystal in aggressive triumph. "Waluigi's got it!" Waluigi declared. He started to run with his giant strides towards the door, the crystal piece in hand. His triumphant crescent moon grin flipped into an angry upside-down crescent moon not-grin and he braked in front of the glittery wall. "Wahhhh! There's no door! How am I going to get out of the most beautiful room I've ever seen?!" Waluigi lamemted loudly, and then holding his fists downward and perpendicular to his torso, he unleashed a flying kick into the crystal wall. The wall shattered and the shards stuck into his foot. "WAHHH!" Waluigi felt better though seconds later, and the impact of his powerful foot caused the crystal room to tremble and a giant bookshelf to pop out, books to jump off the shelf and into his hands. "Books?! Reading won't help me get to the treasure before my archrival Luigi! Curse you, archrival Luigi, and curse you, book!" Waluigi sourly threw the books over his shoulder, where they landed on a switch and it revealed the door, which was plain and steel. "The ugliest door in the most beautiful room!" Waluigi exclaimed as he ran to it with excitement. But he hit the steel door with a thwack because one of the books flew to the door, grew very big, and opened to page 1, and telekinetically slammed Waluigi against the book. Waluigi tried to pry the book off the door, but then it slammed shut on his fingers. "OWWWWWahhhh!" Waluigi shook his swollen glived hand. The letters on the page started glowing a mystical glow, and the 1 on page 1 started shimmering and slammed Waluigi against the pages again. Waluigi's pink nose reddened with anger. "Alright, ALRIGHT, I'll read the cursed book! You've made it crystal...waha! Clear that you really want me to read you!" Waluigi hunched over because the book was shorter than him and he started reading. " Dear Diary, today my magic potion was stolen by a michievous dark elf...waaah, this is wahfully boring! I know, I'll use my cheating powers to speed-read!" Waluigi posed with much flair as he did a spinning kick backwards, landed on his elbow, raising his floppy shoe to the ceiling. He then flipped through the pages very fast without reading most of the book-"Using my magic I have recovered my magic potion from the dark elf and have banished him to parts unknown...wahh! What a tragic fate for the dark elf!" Waluigi identified very much with the dark elf and wanted to tear up the pages but as soon as he grabbed the pages roughly they wrapped around his hands and squeezed them. "Wahhhhh!" Waluigi let go of the pages and glared at them, but then grinned and continued speeding through the book that still had a large amount of pages left. After a whole five minutes of aggressively flipping through the pages, Waluigi glimpsed the last page "..I've entrusted my slippers made from a falling star that I shall wear for the wizard's ball to the reclusive scientist from that dimension, the Pixls are becoming restive and it is my duty to calm their disquiet..wait..that's it?! What happened next about the Pixls?! What are Pixls?!"

Waluigi flipped back a page to see if he missed something. "That was the most unsatisfying book I have ever read, in the most beautiful room I have ever seen...WAHH!" In anger Waluigi slammed the book shut. The book glowed and dropped to the floor and the door opened. "Wahaa! ..Which opens the ugliest door out of the most beautiful room I've seen!" Waluigi laughed nasally victoriously, and ran out, sunken eyes widening as he balanced on the precipice of the inside wall of the tower, which he recognized by its wall-to-wall sensors, zapping above and below him. About fifteen Shrooms above him he saw the ugly underside of his archrival's ugly robot, which was badly damaged and emitting a lot of smoke. Waluigi laughed. And another fifty Shrooms above his archrival was the safe.

"Wahaaa! I will still steal the treasure first!"

"You're still here?" Mr. L tsk'ed, descending and angling his mech downwards so he and the purple man could see each other.. He looked calm though his mech was sputtering smoke and veering every which way, which confused Waluigi.

"I had to read a magic diary which wouldn't let me through until I read it! It was worse than the time me and Wario got a double default when Wario passed gas into the tennis ball canister to change the weight of the tennis balls!""

"...There's a point when cheating takes more effort than being good at the game," said Mr. L in his nasal sharp voice.

Waluigi fumed at his archrival's backhanded compliment.

"Well if you're so good, why did you need Lucien's power anyways! And why do you need a robot! If you're really evil, you'll fight me green man-to-purple man!" Waluigi puffed out his lean chest and struck it with his hands and threw his hands outwards and then cartwheeled and punched the air with a left and right jab.

"..You're serious?"

"Yeah!"

"So am I."

Mr. L. fired abridged-but-still-deadly Brobot's laser from the nose cockpit at surprised Waluigi, who leaped and narrowly avoided the laser blast that took out a whole section of the wall, letting the cool air diminish the sizzling heat of the laser but not diminishing his..well..shock. Shock that the ugly machine had a weapon and not just shields...

"You...are..Mr. L..!" Waluigi exclaimed.

Mr. L smirked and steered his smoking, overheating machine to collide into the taller man in midair.

"You're wising up, purple," Mr. L remarked, pleased that Waluigi was finally calling him by his preferred moniker instead of his given name, Luigi. Finally giving him some respect. "Ready to give up?"

"Yes, you win, Mr. L! You're the better thief/treasure hunter and more evil than me! I concede!" screamed Waluigi while sailing through the air.

"Really?" Mr. L said with surprise.

"No, not really! Waluigi was LYING!" Waluigi laughed in his hyper-nasal off-putting way, as he pulled out the crystal from the pocket of his black overalls and stuffed it into the part of the machine where the laser came out from. Brobot-on-its-last-legs exploded, sending dazed Mr. L flying right into the laughing Waluigi. Thus entangled, they both started to fall.

"Waaaahhhhh!"

"You know what.." the wall lasers started firing."we might actually have to help." Mr. L dodged. ".each other.." and dodged again, pulling Waluigi out of the way of the lasers. "out!"

"I hate that you're right! But there's no water nearby for me to make a bubble!" screamed Waluigi.

"I've got squat in my pockets.."

"Wahaaaa!" Waluigi pulled out his diamond cutter and wedged it into the wall, catching their fall. The wall lasers surged into the diamond cutter and got absorbed into it. Waluigi held onto the diamond cutter, and Mr. L was hanging into Waluigi's leg. Coins fell out of Mr. L's pockets and fell towards the distant floor." "Wah, you said you don't have anything in your pockets!"

"I'm a pretty good liar..but hey, can we.." Mr. L strained to keep his grip on Waluigi's leg as Waluigi struggled. "..stow this conversation 'til after..? We both've got to get up."

"No! You'll drag me down with you!" hollered Waluigi, trying to kick Mr. L. off.

"What're you doing, getting scared? That's not the Waluigi I know!" taunted Mr. L.

"Fool!" Waluigi answered angrily, but this time fear running through it."People have different sides to them, even me, Waluigi! This is my scared-out-of-my-wits-because-I'm -losing-my-grip-and-about-to-plummet-into-lasers side!" Waluigi thrashed. This was a different fall from before-the first fall he didn't know where he was falling but this time he could see where he was going to fall and he was dangling over the death-trap. "And you're..weighing me..down!" Waluigi kicked Mr. L with his free leg.

"Oof! Yep, that's the Waluigi I know! Listen, purple, trust me," Mr. L reached up, Waluigi kicked him again. "Oof!"

"Wahhhy would I do that? You're...a better liar and more evil," admitted Waluigi under his breath so Mr. L. wouldn't hear. "..you'll climb up and mash my ring fingers with a hammer!"

"Ok, if you don't trust me, at least trust my jump!" bruised Mr. L urged.

Waluig's fingers slipped from the diamond cutter. They were in freefall now. He kicked again, and again, but then bit his top teeth down against his bottom teeth and squeezed his sunken eyes shut, bracing to keep falling and hit the bottom. He felt Mr. L climb up him and jump off of him, pushing him down so he was falling faster, but then a hand grab onto his hand. He felt himself get pulled up, and then thrown with a lot of effort a short distance up to the ledge made by the earlier laser blast. Mr. L jumped and landed next to him. Mr. L caught his breath and rested on one knee, tired from pulling up and throwing the taller, stronger man.

"You didn't mash my ring fingers with a hammer! Or any of my fingers!" exclaimed Waluigi, trying to hide the gratitude in his voice.

Mr. L smiled in muted malice.

"I thought about it...it's too obvious though, not my style..."

Waluigi scowled. He looked up at the safe and started scheming a way to get back up there. He started jumping in place, he glared at the wall lasers to see where they were least intense so he could wall-jump. He looked for any nearby ledges or objects that he could take a flying leap onto.

"Wahhh! There's no way up!" Waluigi shouted, angry and frustrated.

Mr. L held his grey-gloved hand under his chin, then crouched and jumped nearly forty Shrooms high, just falling short of the safe. He landed on the edge of the ledge, teetering a bit to keep balance before backing up onto the ledge.

"Well Wa.."

"Wah? Did you just..abbreviate my name?" asked stunned Waluigi.

"Would you prefer Mr. Bad Date?"

"Wahh? You mean with Daisy? But she looked so enamored with me!" Waluigi posed magnificently.

"Key word is 'looked'."

"Wahhh!" Waluigi raised his white-gloved hands in dramatic despair.

"We hate it, but if either of us want the treasure, we've got to cooperate," Mr. L said, not hiding his grudging tone of voice

"But it's a competition!" insisted Waluigi proudly, as he scanned the area again to see if there were other ways up there, something he missed. Cooperating to survive was one thing, but the danger was over and it was back to ruthless individualism.

"Yeah, but you're out of bubbles and you totalled Brobot Core Version, so we've got to get up there on foot and I need you to open it."

"Only I, Waluigi, am sneaky and deceitful to crack the safe! Waha!" Waluigi's twirly mustache smiled as he pointed ceiling-ward.

"It's actually unlocked," Mr. L pointed to his map, another thing which was in his pockets.

"Then this will be the easiest heist ever!"

"Don't celebrate yet! First we've got to get up there, then I'll turn off the lights without turning off the light switch. While I'm doing that, you need to touch the safe. Once you touch the safe, you have sixty seconds to open it, dark, while trying to beat its non-deadly security system. After the twenty seconds, if you still haven't cleaned out the safe, the security system's deadly mode will kick in," Mr. L glanced outbthe large hole in the wall at the sky. "And don't forget we have to pull it iff before midnight or else the treasure'll van-'"

"And where will you be?" Waluigi raised his eyebrow in suspicion.

"Keeping the lights off," Mr. L answered, his voice salty. "If you hadn't destroyed what was left of Brobot, I could keep the lights off, use Brobot's secret arm to open the safe, and swipe the loot from right under your nose. So, what do you say?"

Waluigi gave his lemon-sour grimace, looked up at the safe, and back down at Mr. L.

"Waluigi shakes on it!" announced Waluigi as he grabbed Mr. L's hand and shook it angry and determined and horrified that the competition had turned into cooperation.


	6. Backtracking

"Ok, get on my shoulders," Mr. L instructed.

"Alrighty then, but I warn you, my fit, toned legs" Waluigi adoringly flexed the muscles in his super-lean calves, "the heaviest and most powerful in the Mushroom Kingdom not including the turtles! Here I go! " Waluigi announced and jumped onto Mr. L's shoulders.

"Oof!"

Waluigi's legs were very long and they touched the ledge, even on Mr. L's shoulders. The weight of Waluigi's legs were weighing down on Mr. L's shoulders.

"I warned you! Waha!" Waluigi laughed in his ultra-nasal voice.

"Hey purple, do you wear these overalls often? They're not broken in," remarked Mr. L, who was trying to resist the pressure of Waluigi's legs. "And quit bearing down, will ya?"

"I'll quit bearing down when you call me Waluigi! I'm calling you what you want to be called!" complained Waluigi.

"Fine, fine, Waluigi," Mr. L gave in.

"Waaaaayyyy!" Waluigi cheered and lightened the pressure of his legs.

"That doesn't even have a w in it!" exclaimed Mr. L. "Ok Waluigi, ready? Let's-"

"Waaahiiit!"

"...was that a wait or a what?" ribbed Mr. L. Waluigi put so much enphasis on the wah part that the 'aaate' part was just an afterthought, to the point the two words sounded the same when Waluigi said them.

"It's a waaaaaaate are you saying every word of mine isn't 100% clear?" Waluigi grimaced with an open mouth. "Before we go up, I want to steal more crystal. It'a only fair since you made me destroy my crystal."

"Since when did you like things fair, and I didn't make you destroy anything," argued Mr. L, flipping his hand outward palm-out in annoyance.

"You fired a laser at me!" Waluigi made a semicircle from above his head to his hip with his arms ending fists facing upwards. "And people call ME insane!" He repeatedly made a circle near one of his pointy ears with a finger.

"What was that?" Mr. L asked darkly.

"Nothing!" Waluigi feigned mock innocence with evil happiness. "Anyway, I demand you compensate me! Take a detour."

"Or what!" Mr. L got in Waluigi's face, mushroom breath meeting fruity mushroom breath.

"Right now I have a theft-proof ink splatter in my overalls!" Waluigi replied with a threatening tone.

Mr. L's masked eyes widened in horror and reeled back.

"...I bet you keep the tags on after you buy your clothes."

"In case I need to resell them as new after wearing them for a year!"

"I like the dishonesty part but you've really taken after Wario in hygiene."

Despite Mr. L's barbs from the look on Mr. L's face Waluigi found it obvious Mr. L was disgusted and horrified.

"Wahahahaha!"

Waluigi revelled in Mr. L's revulsion but didn't acknowledge their mutual love of dishonesty. That would be too much of a concession to his green rival. Also he didn't like Mr. L's green bandana, he found it tacky. "So which way are we going?" Waluigi smiled.

Mr L grumbled, incensed.

"Where did you steal the crystal?" Mr. L asked, not enthusiastic.

"That chair dropped me into a crystal room,," Waluigi quickened his robust talking speed woth growing anticipation.

"We've got to go back?" Mr. L asked disappointed and angry.

"It's only a few shrooms down. There!" Waluigi pointed wayyy down at the ledge with the chair.

"Ok! You_first!" Mr. L took Waluigi off guard by slipping out and with a lot of effort and straining, then threw him down where the metal chair was.

"Waaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!" Waluigi screamed away. Mr. L waited up at the upper ledge impatiently. Waluigi landed ungracefully on his chest on the hard metal which rattled his super-slim frame so his wahs became wa-ah-ah-ah-ah and the chair dropped him down into the crystal room. Except this time, it wasn't crystal. "Wah?!" Waluigi was dismayed. The crystal room.. "It's a plain room..with a plate of a peach, cherries, and mushrooms..Fruity Shrooms..delicacy exclusive to Flopside's Dyllis? Signed, wawawa," Waluigi read the incoherent loopy scribble. Waluigi scowling, ate the plate of fruit and ran off through the open door with the plate. And rejoined Mr. L there, who was picking up some of the screws that had scattered when Waluigi had destroyed Brobot.

"Don't worry Metal Bro..I'll rebuild you soon..." Mr. L promised, and turned around hearing Waluigi's floppy shoes. Mr. L was mad at Waluigi and wanted to let him know just how mad, but he saw the plate and his fury turned to puzzlement when he saw Waluigi had a plate with bits of food still on it.

"You went back just for a dirty ceramic dinner plate?"

"I had to get SOMETHING for my effort!" Waluigi justified.

"What did you eat?" Mr. L asked. He got closer to Waluigi and mushroom breath met fruity mushroom breath. "Shrooms and...peaches?."

"It was given to me by wawawawa to reward me for my incredibly good looks!" Waluigi lied about how he got the Fruity Shrooms, both because it was oh-so-evil amd to salvage his self-esteem. "But the plate read do not steal, so I stole it! Sneakily!"

Mr. L turned to the side and waved his hand at him in casual annoyance. He then noticed the note stuck on the bottom of the food bit-covered plate.

"What's that signature?" he pointed and then took the note off of the plate. "Oh hey, it's Merlumina. Why would she leave food out? I thought she was going to sleep for another 1,000 years..."

"Who's Merlumina?" Waluigi asked, confused.

"Cousin of the old magic guy who sent us off to collect the Pure Hearts. My big bro also tells me that she was part of this tribe called the Ancients and they made the Pixls but treated them like dirt. There was an uprising and they put it down and sealed the Pixls. And they believed they were doing good or something."

"The Pixls! From the diary that blocked my way out of the crystal room!" Waluigi celebrated by dancing in his over-the-top and floor-commanding way, dancing with energy he almost fell off the ledge. He skidded and then scowled in dread. That Merlumina seemed to like to play tricks, snd he forgot that he wanted to know what the Pixls were. "We don't even know what the treasure in that safe is! What if it's worthless, but delicious, like that Fruity Shrooms!"

Mr. L shrugged.

"If we keep wasting tine here the treasure'll vanish and we won't know if it's worthless or not. Besides," Mr L mused with chin in hand and masked pupils travelling to the top of the whites of his eyes,, "you could've saved the Fruity Shrooms and sold them for 100 coins."

Waluigi shook his head rapidly so his crooked mustache waggled. "I'd pass it off as a one-of-a-kind and sell it to the unsuspecting for 50000 coins!"

Mr. L smiled. At least they were on the same wavelength on some things.

"Heh-heh. Ok, Ready?"

The taller man got on the shoulders of the child-sized man.

"Let's wa-go!" Waluigi even said extremely nasally.

"You and your w's.." sighed Mr. L

"W for winner! Wahahaha!"

Waluigi felt himself suddely drop down as Mr. L crouched way to the floor, and then rocketed through the air upwards at a dizzying pace. Waluigi wahhed in Mr. L's ears so loudly that Mr. L yelled in pain and they went thusly up the tower both screaming. As they approached the underside of the safe, the top part of the tower glowed eerily.


	7. Treasure

A whole section of the upper-most wall, which had a red-orange color, dislodged itself and slammed into Mr. L and Waluigi, disrupting Mr. L's Super Jump. To Waluigi's surprise, Mr. L didn't drop him, and he wah'ed, bit this time, in relief.

"You're not as weak as you look, Mr. L!" Waluigi remarked positively

"All those years of my big bro standing on my head so we can Spin Jump helps."

"Wait, then I should be able to stand on your head! Why am I draped sround your shoulders?!"

"Because though big Bro's fat, you weigh more."

"Wahhh-AAHH!" Waluigi screamed as another section of wall dislodged and hit both of them again, this time the impact sending them flying in opposite directions. The section of wall didn't tear out from the rest of the building violently, but with rigid mechanical efficiency.

Several more sections of wall proceeded to bounce around Waluigi like a purple pinball. The same section of wall thst hit them suspended itself under Mr. L and caught his fall.

"Yes, this is exactly where I want to be!" Mr. L looked up from being face-down on the floating section of wall and grinned at the light switch and an eerily glowing bulb, and a glowing circuit breaker. A set of wires ran from the light switch behind the wall. He saw where the wires comnected. He knew that these areas were off-limits, marked with an X on the map, but the map didn't tell him in what way were they off-limits.

"Oh-ho, the light switch is connected to the rest of the security system, designed to pump 10,000 volts into any idiot that tries switching off the lights. An the circuit breaker is what's keeping this death-trap running, but there's an energy barrier around the circuit breaker, that's why it can't be accessed," Mr. L observed, locating the circuit breaker on his map, which also had an X on it. "And that's why.." Mr. L charged up some electricity of his own. "..this is a job for me, the Green Thunder!" Mr. L looked over in exasperation at Waluigi being bounced around by the sections of wall and at the safe. "Right now, that safe is locked, but not with an ordinary combination lock." Mr. L had simplified it for Waluigi and just had said it was unlocked. "It's connected to the rest of the electrical wiring and.." he observed on his map, "is designed to default to lock as long as the light switch is on and the wiring" he pointed again to his map," has a self-repair system, which is why I can't only short it out once." He looked over again at Waluigi, who was struggling with not getting tossed around by the moving sections of wall like a surly ragdoll. "The problem is once I start shorting out the electricity, it's going to be pitch-dark in here." So Mr. L waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Finally with a much-weakened yet vigorous wah, Waluigi cartwheel-kicked his way out from the grip of punishing wall sections and latched onto the safe.

"Wah-hahahaa!" Waluigi laughed as he turned the knob, his laugh turning into an open-mouthed scowl. "It's locked! Liar!"

Seeing that bruised Waluigi had made it to the safe, Mr. L raised his hands and fired bolts of green lightning at the wires, burning them up.

"It's unlocked, but now I can't see!" Waluigi reached for the knob, but it wasn't there. "It moved?!"

The wires started to repair themselves and Mr. L shocked the wires again.

"The map reveals the safe has some kind of delaying tactic to keep intruders scrambling the safe until the emergency security system kicks in, which is in about fifteen seconds."

"You had a map all this time?!" Waluigi yelled in angry surprise. "Cheater! Loser! Only losers cheat!" Waluigu berated his rival.

"I thought you're a champion cheater," Mr. L retorted, shocking the wires again.

"I have a gold medal in cheating! But it's good when I cheat, not when someone else does!" explained the purple man.

"Ten seconds," Mr. L warned casually as he continued damaging the wires.

Waluigi raised his fists indignantly.

"I won't scramble like a Goomba, I'll find that pesky knob..there, I found it!" The safe clicked open.

"Five seconds..how did you?" the green man exclaimed in a surprised voice, almost forgetting to blast the self-repairing wires again.

"When the knob disappeared, using my Waluigi smarts, I thought it must not have gone very far, and maybe was even still on the safe! So if I was the owner of a safe and wanted to hide the door, I would flip the safe upside-down! And now...the treasure is all..." he pulled the glowy material out. "Hey, I can see it but not feel it!"

"It must be almost midnight! Remember what I said?"

"You said a lot, do hou expect me to remember all of it? Just how do I get it so I can feel it and not just see it?!"

"Uh..good question..Maybe knowing what it is'd be a start. You said you can see it. So what is it?"

"It's..shoes..!" Waluigi pointed air. "I have the answer!" Waluigi threw off his floppy shoes and put on the ghostly shoes, which he didn't feel because they weren't material. They sparkled and shone and became physical, hardening into this sturdy yet comfortable substance arpund his giant feet.

Instamtly the wires stopped self-repairing.

"They're..the most beautiful shoes in the world! The slippers for the wizards' ball in Merlumina's diary, made of pure stardust!" They shone brilliant through the darkness. "And that means, I wonnnnnnnnnnnnn! I stole the treasure!" Waluigi celebrated, grinning so hard he almost chipped his teeth.

"That's what you think," all the time had been keeping the lights off before they stayed off, Mr. L had been charging up another surge of electricity in his other hand. But before he could double-cross Waluigi and steal the stolen treasure, an apparition glowed behind Mr. L and he froze up and yelped in fear and the lights suddenly came back on, activating the security system which shocked them causing them to comically writhe with extreme pain. They continued to get shocked until Mr. L diverted the electricity into the wires and the lights went out again. As his sight cleared and his body stopped violently convulsing from getting electrocuted, Mr. L saw the ghost from the front, a not very intimidating middle aged man with a striking red mustache.

"So it is you two young troublemakers who have disturbed the structural integrity of my tower." Waluigi, though still convulsing from the electricity that blasted through him managed to smile at being called not only a troublemaker but young, and by extension, beautiful! "Know that is not even the full power of my security system. You evaded the time-activation and persistetly shorted out the electricity, but did not consider that I, the designer of this tower, could also activate the security system."

"Y-yeah, I get it." Mr. L waved his hand by his big round nose, his frame still vibrating from the electrical shock and smelling of electrical burns. Though he could fire electricity he wasn't immune to it. And whenever he encountered a hostile ghost, especially one that approached from behind, he just couldn't help having a meltdown. But, he wasn't going to shriek and wet his pants in front of the purple and obnoxious man. So with a lot of effort he staved off his detrimental impulses. "You could vaporize us to dust if you wanted but didn't. Hail the magananimous-heh, right, I'm sorry, just who are you again?" Mr. L sassed, pulling one hand close to him and pointing with the other, leaning back. His voice was shaky, but the fear was masked by the effect of the shakiness inflicted by the electrical jolt he was shaking both from gettong electrocuted and from fear of the hostile ghost.

"I am Yikk," explained the ghost. "I was sleeping soundly but was roused by my remembrance that long ago when I still had corporeal form, Lady Merlumina left in my care some of her personal property."

"You're the reclusive scientist from another dimension that the diary talked about!" Waluigi exclaimed. "Except she was from another dimension and you're in our dimension! And these are her slippers. I wonder if she ever got to go to the wizard's ball," Waluigi wondered. "Well TOO BAD, I have them now!"

"That I do not know. I stowed them in this tower to protect it from bandits such as yourselves. However, I can see that I have failed," Yikk looked disappointedly at the purple one's feet. "And for that I will punish you."

Waluigi mocked and taunted the ghost.

"Waha, wahht are you going to do about it, old man? Old man who forgot how to use a razor! Too much mustache for too little of a man!" Waluigi stuck his tongue out saying "Nyah-nyah and made wild gestures next to his ears while strutting with perfect balance and unexpected grace in the stardust slippers.

"We will see who is a little man.." the ghost turned to the floating sections of wall, which sparked and whirred, clanging together in a programmed formation. As the floating sections of wall moved, Mr. L and Waluigi fell, and bounced on the wall where the sensors had thankfully not come back on again since it was still dark, out of the building and they plummeted down onto the big hamster wheels that Waluigi had stacked earlier. They looked up, dizzy as more sections of wall joined, until the entire tower dissassembled itself and reassembled into a giant robot in the likeness of Yikk, the red-orange sections of wall coming together to make the Yikk robot's mustache.

"You just had to cheese him off, didn't you?" yelled Mr. L as the giant red-mustached robot cast a Yikk-shaped shadow over them. His confidence also withered and his strong legs buckling, he sat down on the hamster wheel. The Yikk robot was way less clunky and far more sophisticated than Brobot, even Brobot L-Type, had ever been, demonstrating Yikk's superiority in robotics over Mr. L who compared to Yikk was a novice in robotics.

And to top it off, both Yikk AND his robot had the superior 'stache...


	8. The Epic Battle

The giant robot with the red mustache stared from far above at the pair. Waluigi laughed with evil zest and flexed his strong super-lean leg muscles.

"What does that ugly clunker have up its metal sleeve? Whatever it has, missiles, Bob-ombs, Thwomps, I'll throw them into the next dimension with my triple kick! No match for Waluigi!" announced Waluigi shining with evil confidence and his stolen ballroom slhoes glimmering with radiance. From the giant robot's metal mustache emerged a giant rod, which it grasped. The mustache swung the rod at the hamster wheel where the two were on. Waluigi somersaulted out of the way, fast, but Mr. L stayed on the hamster wheel until he suddenly realized the robot with the better 'stache was trying to drive both of them into the ground, and darted away at the last possible moment before the giant metal rod smashed the hamster wheel into a hundred pieces, raising a flood of dirt several shrooms above them and got lodged into the ground.

"Why is my archrival Mr. L reacting to danger with the speed of a Chubba? You were so fast to nearly stab me in the back after I had stolen the treasure fair-and-square!" Waluigi gestured with reproach, having to bend forward because of their height difference. Mr. L was taken aback.

"Huh, I thought I was being a little more discreet with charging up my thunder!"

Waluigi thrust out his chest and slapped it with zeal.

"My Waluigi powers of perception of your left hand pierced through your discreetness! You can't sneak by the sneakiest sneak in the world, which is Waluigi!" Waluigi pronounced as Mr. L ground his teeth. He wasn't too mad that he couldn't get it past Waluigi, but when he rubbed it in, that was another thing. "Little did you know, I was planning to double-cross you no matter who got the treasure first! Waha!" Well, that figured. "This is the sneakiness of Waluigi! Doesn't that just make you in such a rotten mood?" Waluigi egged on, making wild, stacatto gestures.

"You won, I lost," Mr. L sighed, his anger diffusing, and conceded, sitting back down again, this time on the ground amidst all of the broken pieces of hamster wheel.

Waluigi looked disappointed.

"You don't look angry, you look like you've given up! What kind of a baddie gives up?" the scowling man asked with a tone of dismay. Mr. L sat slouched leaning his chin in his dark-gloved hands.

"One trapped in the shadow of a superior 'stache. And superior knowledge of robotics," Mr. L answered sullenly. Yikk's robot's mustache finally pulled out the metal rod from the dirt. Waluigi danced, rocking his elbows towards his torso and outwards while stomping while lifting up the other foot in the air in shock.

"Are you ..wallowing in..self-pity?!" Waluigi's sunken eyes bugged out under his purple cap. " Only Waluigi wallows in self-pity!" Waluigi exclaimed in outrage.

"Yeah..yeah, what am I doing?" Mr. L shook his head and pointed towards his heart. "I'm a baddie, and baddies try to crush their enemies, even if they have zero chance-" he swept with hus other arm.."of succeeding!"

"Waha, that's the answer!" Waluigi wound up dramatically and delivered his flying kick at incoming the metal rod. It CLANG'ed and Waluigi, vibrating from the impact, howled with pain. To Mr. L's astonishment, Waluigi tried again, and kicked the metal rod from a slightly different angle, and howled with pain again.

"But doing something the same way over and over again expecting to get a different result, that's just crazy." Mr. L wanted to beat the robot just as much as his-well, he guessed he could really call him a serious rival, not just in tennis, but in treasure acquisition. He still hated that Waluigi got to it first, and of course the vain man was taking every opportunity to flaunt those gorgeous shoes, but Mr. L's desire for glittering treasure didn't come before self-preservation. The robot had clearly high defenses if Waluigi's strength couldn't dent it. He didn't understand the guy, but he appreciated how strong Waluigi was. Not as strong as his big bro, or that slob Wario for that matter, but still pretty strong. Mr. L stepped back and forced himself to ignore Yikk's bot's glorious mustache and analyzed the robot based on what he could gather just from looking at it. "No visible joints..it's all in one piece...the motor and internal systems are all encased. But the head looks like it's made of a weaker metal, but it'd be too high to reach even standing on Waluigi..."

By now Waluigi was fed up and his foot was very sore so as the robot lifted up way high the impervious rod to hit him. Waluigi went with it, grasping on for dear life and in the stolen ballroom shoes. The robot's eyes glowed a righteous glow and while the mustache steadfastly gripped the metal rod, the other half of the mustache separated from the other, spun into flight and started wailing on Waluigi.

"Wah! Wah! Wahh!"

Mr. L could see him from the ground and almost felt bad for the guy, but he was more annoyed than anything else by his nails-on-a-ceramic plate voice. And maybe he still had a grudge against him for getting to the treasure first. It looked like it was worth a lot and it had excellent workmanship. But though he was tempted, he wasn't going to steal them off of Waluigi's feet, he had some pride after all.

"Hello, exposed gears."

Mr. L saw his chance. He scuttled until he fell underground and tunneled his way around the Bowser-sized robot, estimating where the other half of the mustache went. He emerged from the ground, covered in dirt, but he put plans of taking a bath to the back of his mind. He guessed wrong, and the mustache half that was holding the rod was about ten shrooms away. "Eh, close enough!" Mr. L rushed at the half of the mustache that was on the ground but as he started to kick and strike the mustache half with his hand, in response the mustache half glowed. "An energy field!" He held out his gloved hands and shocked it, it shocked him back, making those electrical burns from earlier worse. "Oof...the central control mechanism must be in the mustache, the body, or the head."

Mr. L. looked way upward. "Let's hope this works!" He jumped for it, and latched onto the robot from behind. He saw his rival, even though he didn't like to admit that the purple obnoxious guy insistent on his own awesomeness meant something to him, even in a distant, adversarial way. Even though they had helped each other out to beat the security system, it's not like they were friends. But, since, Waluigi was already up there, Mr. L made a signal to him, pointing to the robot's head and punching the air.

"Wahh? Stop waving at me incoherently, I'm getting my rear handed to me by the mechanical king of all mustaches!"

Mr. L did the motion again, but bigger and more exaggerated, using his arms instead of just his hands. The purple man's eyes lit up.

"Now THAT'S a Waluigi-worthy signal, no understatement allowed!" laughed Waluigi in his boisterous way, and he broke free of the mustache and rammed several kicks into the robot's head.

Sunce he was able to make it halfway up, Mr. L was sure he could jump to the top of the robot, and was about to join his rival in the robot carnage with another Super Jump but then the fused armor plates unexpectedly unfused and slammed into him, knocking him away. That jolted him with a crushing pain, and he fell down.

Waluigi pulled out the wires with raucous glee, getting zapped and sizzled all the way, which made him pull out the wires with all the more verve. The robot sparked and smoked, getting cracked and damaged.

Mr. L landed on the ground, shaking off the pain from the robot's plates hitting him, and looked up in satisfaction as the mustache's force field fizzled out. Waluigi having in a few minutes pulled out the wires, the robot blew apart, setting the moonlit sky afire.

The ghost frowned deeply.

"You brazen criminals may have destroyed my robot, but you will not get away with Lady Merlumina's property!"

Mr. L was undaunted by the ghost's words, in fact he was proud of what Yikk meant to be insulting, no one had ever called him a criminal, a liar, yes, but not a criminal. It was like a badge of honor.

But as the ghost started to drift towards him, that familiar feeling of dread washed over him, and he froze up as the ghost closed in.

. "..I don't have the Poltergust wiith me."

He wanted to run, but was frozen cold.

Then he heard a distant w-heavy yell that got closer, and louder, and the sheer annoyingness forced his fear-frozen muscles to move. He started to turn to run, but waited for the annoying yell to get even louder so it was ringing in his ears. The ghost was getting closer, making the air chill and foreboding.

Waluigi landed smack on his back, bouncing up and falling flat on the ground again, and with a wild backflip, landed on his shoes made from the pieces of a fallen star. And only then did Mr. L start running away from the ghost which was by now right in front of him. Waluigi did a double-take, surprised that his rival had waited for him!

"It's following us!"

"Way to atate the obvious," Mr. L managed to throw a barb though he was running somewhat stiffly, trying to overpower his fear. The surroundings were totally open, he though about going underground but he knew ghosts could just pass through the ground. As he ran, he remembered the Power Flower! He reached in his pants pocket but they were empty except for the map. "Oh yeah, I used the last one on Brobot, Core version..!"

"Wah!" Waluigi pointed at a cluster of trees in the distance and began dashing speedily with his long, wide rambling gait. Mr. L, who, when running, ran habitually in a particular way; picking his knees up high and his legs close together and not picking his feet off far from the ground while leaned slightly backwards holding his fists in a circling motion in front of him, caught up with Waluigi, and they entered the dense, dark forest.

Inside the forest the moon's light was blocked out, making it hard to see. They intuited that it wouldn't be enough to just hide in plain sight, so they looked for a hiding spot.

"A grove of poison mushrooms!" Waluigi announced at not-full volume. "Perfect!" he laughed sneakily as he climbed into the poisonous grove of purple mushrooms. Mr. L searched the trees for a hollow tree and crawled inside. The angry ghost floated through the forest, making it brighter and colder.

Mr. L didn't make a sound as the ghost got near their hiding spots. It was working...so far Fortune was favoring them.

Then Waluigi sneezed, somehow getting a "wah" in there. Mr. L flinched and put his hand over his face.

"What is that?" The ghost drifted over towards the poison mushrooms, but sae only a grove of poison mushrooms..."I have failed in my promise to protect Lady Merlumina's personal property. I shall return to my resting place."

And with that the ghost was gone.

Waluigi jumped out of the poison mushrooms, covered in rashes.

"Waha! That ghost is no match for Waluigi's sneakiness!" Waluigi waved his arms from side-to-side and jumped up, doing a victory twirl.

"Yeah, that trick sure got rid of him. Mr. L managed a compliment for his rival.

"And now...since I won, you have to do whst I say!" Waluigi anniunced imperiously, his pink nose high in the air and his stance broad.

"...And that is..?" Mr. L asked, his masked, narrowed eyes widening a little. Not only was he not going to get the dress and princess crown out of the deal-although he didn't dislike wearing his black-and-green ensemble, which when he thought about it suited him just fine, since it hid his eyes and let him blend in with the surroundings at nighttime, therefore better for his primary line of work, but still subtly eye-catching with his green bandana- but Waluigi's triumphant, gleeful stare got him nervous.

Waluigi left Mr. L in suspense for several grueling seconds.

"I want you to build me a robot in Waluigi's likeness! With the upside-down L!"

"Anything you say!" Mr. L answered, in an actually obliging tone, which surprised and pleased Waluigi.

So Mr. L acquired the parts and built the robot. He built hydro jets so it wouldn't run on engine fuel and designed the mustache as a propellor for better flying capabilitity. He added huge pointy shoes to stab enemies with.

Several weeks later, Waluigi was in Wario's castle-'which Wario of course had acquired through dishonest means-where Waluigi was dancing to salsa music. Outside his window, the robot that Mr. L had made for him stood for all to see and admire when his rotund partner barrelled in.

"Someine broke into Wario Ware Inc. and cleaned out my spare parts room!" Wario thundered in his growly voice. "I was going to build a machine powered by farts! The outrage!"

Waluigi's mouth fell open and he raised his lanky arms in distress.

"Wahhhh!"

"Heh-heh.." Mr. L snuck out from behind a nearby tree outside Wario's castle. Waluigi had won their thievery competition, but Mr. L was more vindictive, so he had stolen parts from Wario's factory to make Waluigi's robot just so Waluigi couldn't accuse him of not measuring up as a thief, since Me. L had failed to steal the ballroom shoes. And with that, the green man darted, leaned slightly backwards and unhurried, off, leaving Waluigi with angry Wario, and when Wario was angry, he got flatulent and when Wario was flatulent...

"WAAHHHH!" Waluigi ran out of the foul-smelling castle and jumped into the Wabot to escape Wario's fart, and made sure everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom saw the glorious Wabot, whether they wanted to or not.


End file.
